[well, he's not going to deny a single part of that. as much as he'd like it if bucky stopped worrying so much about him, it's exactly the same in reverse. bucky is, without a doubt, the single most important person in his life, and he'll never stop worrying about him.
especially after a reaction like that.
all humor disappears instantly, replaced with concern as he loosens his hold just a little. it wouldn't be the first time that steve forgot his own strength. but with bucky, that had never been a problem before. something must have happened that he hasn't told him about.]
Did you get hurt?
[because as much as bucky may not want to fight anymore, the events of the past couple of weeks definitely would have tested that.]
[ Bucky takes a few steadying breaths and settles himself back against Steve's side. This really isn't how he'd wanted to deal with this whole topic. There's a part of him that wants to just keep it all hidden like so much of the pain he never shares with anyone, but this isn't quite the same. He can't hide this forever. ]
Not exactly. My shoulder's just been sore.
[ He turns his head, muffling his voice into Steve's shirt as he continues. ]
Since I lost... whatever the serum was doing for me.
[while knowing the extent of some of the other problems that people have suffered here, bucky's own loss hits him hard. sure, there will always be a part of him that hates the fact that he was experimented on in the first place. that hydra ever managed to sink their claws in to him in the first place. but in this city, with the near constant threats being held over them, knowing that bucky had that part of him to fall back on gave steve a small level of comfort. the effects the serum gave them both a safety net, and now...
carefully- more so than usual, now -steve pulls his arm free from bucky's shoulders, slipping it to his waist instead. he isn't ready to lose that contact completely, but if he can ease the pain in some way, he will.]
Those...creatures. That's what they asked for?
[not that he really needs an answer. the fact that bucky's not at his best is enough.]
Is there anything I can do?
[well, other than pick up the items on his newly forming mental shopping list. painkillers are right at the top.]
[ He lets out a slow sigh and relaxes even more against Steve's side, sagging his weight against the other man. He closes his eyes and lets the familiar smell of Steve Rogers take over. He can feel Steve and smell Steve and hear his breathing and he has to admit that all the guns and strength and the metal fucking arm never made him feel safe the way Steve does.
This is what safety feels like to Bucky now and it's not Steve's muscles, either. It's the promise of something stable and constant and familiar. Something he loves more than anything else in his life. ]
[he's worried. that much is obvious. and it's a feeling he doubts he's ever going to be fully rid of. but knowing that bucky's lost that extra protection that the serum gave him, his worry about the other man has increased exponentially. sure, bucky has always been a fighter. always knew how to protect himself and steve at the same time. but that was before he lost his arm, before a giant chunk of metal was fused to his body. so with the discomfort he already seems to be feeling right now, he knows it'll only get worse the longer this goes on.
and there's nothing either of them can do about it.
he lets out a slow sigh, eyes slipping shut as he nuzzles against the top of bucky's head, settling there for now. as much as he'd like to be able to head out and find an answer to all this right now, he isn't about to leave bucky's side any time soon. especially not when he's hurting. carefully moving his own arm, steve shifts enough that he's able to slip his forearm beneath bucky's left elbow, trying to ease some of the strain of having to hold it up alone. it may not be much, but he really doesn't know what else he can do right now.]
We'll find a way to fix this, Buck. Whatever it takes.
[ Bucky wants to argue that there are limits. It's not whatever it takes, because there's a lot of things Bucky couldn't live with. Pain isn't one of them.
They can talk about it later, though. Right now, he just wants to sit here with Steve. He's spent a lot of time on his own, weakened and lost and confused. Now, he has Steve and that's enough to bring him the comfort he needs. He's not alone anymore. He can admit, at least to himself, that that is a huge and important thing and there's no one he'd rather be with than Steve right now. ]
[he has questions, of course. ones he knows he should probably be asking- can he remove his arm? will painkillers work now? does he want to lie down for a while? -but instead, steve is content to stay exactly where he is, for however long bucky wants him there. he trusts the other man enough to know he'll say something if the pain starts to get any worse. to move if he needs to. later, there will be time for working out how to manage that pain. time to set a routine for medication and heat and he definitely needs to look in to modern medicine a little more. but for the time being, he isn't moving. that's an issue for the afternoon instead.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
especially after a reaction like that.
all humor disappears instantly, replaced with concern as he loosens his hold just a little. it wouldn't be the first time that steve forgot his own strength. but with bucky, that had never been a problem before. something must have happened that he hasn't told him about.]
Did you get hurt?
[because as much as bucky may not want to fight anymore, the events of the past couple of weeks definitely would have tested that.]
no subject
Not exactly. My shoulder's just been sore.
[ He turns his head, muffling his voice into Steve's shirt as he continues. ]
Since I lost... whatever the serum was doing for me.
no subject
carefully- more so than usual, now -steve pulls his arm free from bucky's shoulders, slipping it to his waist instead. he isn't ready to lose that contact completely, but if he can ease the pain in some way, he will.]
Those...creatures. That's what they asked for?
[not that he really needs an answer. the fact that bucky's not at his best is enough.]
Is there anything I can do?
[well, other than pick up the items on his newly forming mental shopping list. painkillers are right at the top.]
no subject
This is what safety feels like to Bucky now and it's not Steve's muscles, either. It's the promise of something stable and constant and familiar. Something he loves more than anything else in his life. ]
You're already doing it.
no subject
and there's nothing either of them can do about it.
he lets out a slow sigh, eyes slipping shut as he nuzzles against the top of bucky's head, settling there for now. as much as he'd like to be able to head out and find an answer to all this right now, he isn't about to leave bucky's side any time soon. especially not when he's hurting. carefully moving his own arm, steve shifts enough that he's able to slip his forearm beneath bucky's left elbow, trying to ease some of the strain of having to hold it up alone. it may not be much, but he really doesn't know what else he can do right now.]
We'll find a way to fix this, Buck. Whatever it takes.
no subject
They can talk about it later, though. Right now, he just wants to sit here with Steve. He's spent a lot of time on his own, weakened and lost and confused. Now, he has Steve and that's enough to bring him the comfort he needs. He's not alone anymore. He can admit, at least to himself, that that is a huge and important thing and there's no one he'd rather be with than Steve right now. ]
I know.
no subject