I'm worried about the fact that you're constantly in pain, you're stuck using an arm that's too heavy, and the serum isn't there to protect you against any of that.
I need you to trust me to know my own limits, Steve. you've been treating me like I'm made of glass. you never would have put up with this from me, even when we were kids.
I'm okay and I'm going to be okay and I'm not letting you go there without me. we're stronger together.
[with the way the conversation has gone, steve forgoes sending a text and instead pulls up bucky's number to call. ring ring...]
Before you say anything, just...hear me out?
[because he already knows how this is all going to end. there's absolutely no way he's going to veracity with bucky there with him. and no matter what is decided between them, steve will spend just as much effort watching over the other man as bucky will do for him.]
You're one of the toughest people I've ever met. I trust you, and I know that you've never needed the serum to have my back. I've never needed to question it.
But I've lost you once already. And if things go wrong, if it's like Fort Harmony all over again... This place has already taken so much from us, and I--
Buck, I don't think I'd be able to make it through losing you a second time.
[ Bucky listens. He can do that. What Steve says really does matter to him, even if he's pushing back on a lot of it.
When he finally answers, his voice is gentle. Maybe more so than either of them expect. ]
You're not going to lose me. I just--I can't lose you, either. If you go without me and something happens to you, how am I supposed to live with myself? You disappeared on me for three weeks and I almost pulled some incredibly stupid shit trying to get back to you. We go together and we come back together. That's the only way I'm going to be okay with this. If you go without me, I'm just going to follow you, anyway.
Come on. I'm better at being careful than you are. It's not like I have a death wish here. I'm not planning on taking any more risks than you are.
[he's quiet for a long time after that, the only sign he's still on the line being the quiet breaths he's taking. (well, and the fact that he'd never hang up on bucky in the first place.) logically, he knows that bucky's right. that it's only fair, given that he'd want to do the exact same thing if their positions were reversed. but after a lifetime of being the one who needed looking after, he finally gets why bucky used to get so frustrated with him when he went looking for trouble. he just wishes there was some kind of an alternative.]
...alright.
[his voice is quiet, clearly not happy with the outcome, but accepting of it nonetheless.]
But if anything happens, you back off. Find a high point and shoot, but no close quarters. Promise me that much.
[or at least he hopes he does, considering just how far his trust in bucky goes. but in this city, things are different. trust alone isn't enough to keep anybody safe here.]
I know. Me, too. That's why I want to go and have your back. I don't trust it with your safety, either.
[ Bucky can count on exactly one person to really protect Steve and it's himself. Steve's too selfless. It's something Bucky truly loves about him, but he wants to be there to make sure that selfless can't turn into self-sacrificing. At the first sign of trouble, he'll get somewhere high and shoot anything that tries to hurt Steve or the others. ]
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I'm worried about the fact that you're constantly in pain, you're stuck using an arm that's too heavy, and the serum isn't there to protect you against any of that.
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I'm okay and I'm going to be okay and I'm not letting you go there without me. we're stronger together.
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Before you say anything, just...hear me out?
[because he already knows how this is all going to end. there's absolutely no way he's going to veracity with bucky there with him. and no matter what is decided between them, steve will spend just as much effort watching over the other man as bucky will do for him.]
You're one of the toughest people I've ever met. I trust you, and I know that you've never needed the serum to have my back. I've never needed to question it.
But I've lost you once already. And if things go wrong, if it's like Fort Harmony all over again... This place has already taken so much from us, and I--
Buck, I don't think I'd be able to make it through losing you a second time.
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When he finally answers, his voice is gentle. Maybe more so than either of them expect. ]
You're not going to lose me. I just--I can't lose you, either. If you go without me and something happens to you, how am I supposed to live with myself? You disappeared on me for three weeks and I almost pulled some incredibly stupid shit trying to get back to you. We go together and we come back together. That's the only way I'm going to be okay with this. If you go without me, I'm just going to follow you, anyway.
Come on. I'm better at being careful than you are. It's not like I have a death wish here. I'm not planning on taking any more risks than you are.
[ A deep breath. ]
Please let me have your back.
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...alright.
[his voice is quiet, clearly not happy with the outcome, but accepting of it nonetheless.]
But if anything happens, you back off. Find a high point and shoot, but no close quarters. Promise me that much.
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[ He gets it. He really does. It's just that he won't let it stop him from doing what he knows he has to do. ]
Trust me, okay?
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[or at least he hopes he does, considering just how far his trust in bucky goes. but in this city, things are different. trust alone isn't enough to keep anybody safe here.]
It's this place I don't trust.
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[ Bucky can count on exactly one person to really protect Steve and it's himself. Steve's too selfless. It's something Bucky truly loves about him, but he wants to be there to make sure that selfless can't turn into self-sacrificing. At the first sign of trouble, he'll get somewhere high and shoot anything that tries to hurt Steve or the others. ]
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Just...don't do anything stupid? Especially not for me.
[as pointless of a request as that might be.]
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[ And he's sure Steve can hear the smile in his voice now, but he does mean it. He's not looking to get hurt and Steve had better do the same. ]
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Jerk.