I'm not sure how much I really deserve, Steve. Feels like just having you here is already more than that.
[ He can't help the sad smile he throws at Steve. For all that he tries to push back a lot of his guilt, it's still there under the surface. He knows he doesn't deserve any of this. The sweet dogs, the second chance with Steve, Peggy's friendship. He's done terrible things and very little to make up for any of it and now Tony's gone and he can't even make any of that right. ]
[with the dog seemingly content to just use his lap as a cushion, steve is free enough to wind an arm around bucky's waist, his hand settling on his hip. he wastes no time in slipping his fingers under the edge of his shirt, thumb rubbing gently against the warm skin beneath it.]
You deserve everything, Buck. And I know you're never going to believe that. But I'll tell you every single day if I have to.
[ Bucky practically melts against Steve's side. He doesn't deserve any of this, but he'll always be a little too selfish to give it up. He's been alone and on the run once and he doesn't want to do it again. There's survival and there's living. Bucky's really only good at the former, but he's starting to remember how to live again. ]
You really still feel that way now that you remember everything I did?
[ He's got his own dog settling in his lap and he finds that as long as he keeps scratching behind her ears, she's content to be relatively still with him. ]
You mean keeping my ass safe for half my life? Taking me in when I had no one else? Following me headfirst into every Hydra base we could find?
[which is a very generalized overview that barely covers even a fraction of just what bucky has done for him during their lives. without the other man, steve would have died a hundred times over. would have given up on building any kind of life for himself. his friendship with bucky is the single best thing that's ever happened to him, and he refuses to ever give that up again.]
Then there's the part where you managed to break through decades of programming to save me when I needed you the most. You did that, Buck. You came back to me.
[his hold on bucky grows firmer, half way to tugging him into his lap, dogs be damned. he wants to be able to pull the other man close though. to drag him back home again, back to their bed. to prove just how little he blames bucky for everything that happened.]
Everything the Winter Soldier did is on Hydra, not you. You we're never given a choice in any of it. So yeah, you deserve the world. Because despite everything that was done to you, you're still the same cocky bastard that I'm somehow lucky enough to call my best friend.
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[ He can't help the sad smile he throws at Steve. For all that he tries to push back a lot of his guilt, it's still there under the surface. He knows he doesn't deserve any of this. The sweet dogs, the second chance with Steve, Peggy's friendship. He's done terrible things and very little to make up for any of it and now Tony's gone and he can't even make any of that right. ]
no subject
[with the dog seemingly content to just use his lap as a cushion, steve is free enough to wind an arm around bucky's waist, his hand settling on his hip. he wastes no time in slipping his fingers under the edge of his shirt, thumb rubbing gently against the warm skin beneath it.]
You deserve everything, Buck. And I know you're never going to believe that. But I'll tell you every single day if I have to.
no subject
You really still feel that way now that you remember everything I did?
[ He's got his own dog settling in his lap and he finds that as long as he keeps scratching behind her ears, she's content to be relatively still with him. ]
no subject
[which is a very generalized overview that barely covers even a fraction of just what bucky has done for him during their lives. without the other man, steve would have died a hundred times over. would have given up on building any kind of life for himself. his friendship with bucky is the single best thing that's ever happened to him, and he refuses to ever give that up again.]
Then there's the part where you managed to break through decades of programming to save me when I needed you the most. You did that, Buck. You came back to me.
[his hold on bucky grows firmer, half way to tugging him into his lap, dogs be damned. he wants to be able to pull the other man close though. to drag him back home again, back to their bed. to prove just how little he blames bucky for everything that happened.]
Everything the Winter Soldier did is on Hydra, not you. You we're never given a choice in any of it. So yeah, you deserve the world. Because despite everything that was done to you, you're still the same cocky bastard that I'm somehow lucky enough to call my best friend.