I don't remember losing my arm, either. [ Though, he does remember the rest of it. And is a little concerned by all this fuzzy-memory talk. But it isn't like him to press— he's had enough of interrogation for one lifetime. ]
This one's a couple upgrades in. The Warsaw pact tech was a bit less impressive.
[ Bucky glances down at his own metal hand. He thinks he might remember getting it, but it's not a pleasant bit of memory and it's not something he wants to dwell on. ]
If mine's been upgraded, no one bothered to tell me about it. Last couple of years, I didn't have access to much and HYDRA had me before that, so...
[ He shrugs. ]
I should probably warn you that there's someone from HYDRA here who tried baiting me. They know what I am. Can't promise they won't come after you.
[ Which is true. He has no idea who sent him those messages, but they put him on an edge he hasn't come down from. If they know how to activate his programming, it's only a matter of time before Bucky's forced to do something he doesn't want to do. ]
Most people think I'm in my 30s. I let them keep thinking that. You tell people you served in the army, they don't probe you for your history too much.
Nah, I mean, everything— the whole story. [ It was national news. The "trial of Captain America." ] You're right, though, not many people here from my world, and the ones that are... I trust them. [ Kate and Natasha are people he's worked with before. ]
But my head's fine. Probably hit it a few too many times, but other than that.
[ He raises an eyebrow. Is this a question he oughta be asking? ]
I'm not worried. [ He hopes this is a show of trust, or some strange kind of self-belief.
Not that he's had much of that in the past few years. ]
And… [ He turns his head, eyes following a few cracks in the wall. ] I got all of that taken care of, a while back. [ And he'd sort of assumed the same, because obviously the man sitting in front of him remembered some parts of who he was, really. Knew Steve, knew what he stood for. ] I wish I could tell you I could do it again. [ He exhales like he's pulling off a scab. ] Or that it was worth the price.
[ But he'll tell the story, if that's what Bucky wants. ]
[ Bucky's really only capable of conditional trust with most people these days and this is no different, but the conditions aren't bad and Bucky's more comfortable sharing with this odd version of himself than he'd be with many others. His association to Steve really doesn't hurt, either. ]
Wouldn't mind a lead on how to get that shit out of my head. If the wrong guy gets control of me, there's not much I can do about it.
[ Not that Bucky isn't stoppable, but they can't know what sort of kill orders he might carry out before he is stopped. ]
The last mission I had [ and the way he says this makes it clear that he means the last mission he had as the Winter Soldier, not the most recent thing that happened to him ] I was delivering the Cosmic Cube to an underground bunker.
That thing— [ the Tesseract in universe 199999, but Bucky doesn't know that ] it lets you rewrite reality, but it's cursed, it always takes a price. A lotta people had to die just to put it together.
[ He shifts uncomfortably. He doesn't say, "I had to kill a lot of people just to put it together," but maybe he should've. ]
Anyway, Steve [ his Steve ] got his hands on the Cube and used it to try and bring his friend back. He held it, and looked at me, and said, "Remember who you are." So I did. All of it.
[ That was the price. He couldn't look at Steve for months after, and then… Well. Steve didn't get his friend back. ]
I got SHIELD to fish out the old codewords when I figured out they were there.
You sure about that? Where I'm from, HYDRA was practically running SHIELD from the inside. It's gone now. SHIELD.
[ Not that Bucky's paranoid or anything, but he doesn't trust what's left of SHIELD any more than anyone else who's been that closely tied with HYDRA, whether they'd been aware of it or not.
The rest of the story, though? It's such a Steve fucking Rogers thing to do. He can picture his own Steve doing the exact same thing if given half the chance. ]
About this? Yeah, I am. I used to be a SHIELD agent.
[ But the way he says that makes it clear that he doesn't trust SHIELD blindly or completely. He's not surprised that it went that far off the rails in his counterpart's world. It's been pretty touch and go in his. ]
[ He wants to ask about how the trigger words were removed, but it won't help if they don't have the same resources here. At this point, all Bucky can do is hope that no one here has ever had access to those words. It's not ideal. ]
First there were the skrulls, which I guess Fury had a conspiracy theory about for a long time. Then the organization got cleaned up by Norman Osborn, who was a real piece of work. Then Steve tried takin' over…
[ Some of the words and names mean very little. Even Fury isn't someone he really knows, even if he did put a lot of work into killing the man a few years ago. That last bit gets him smirking, though. ]
Let me guess: No one good was volunteering for the job, so he just had to step up himself?
Too much bureaucracy? Or did he just hate not being the one in constant mortal danger?
[ If there's an incredibly fond smile to go along with that, it's only because he's been watching his Steve jump into danger since they were kids. Hell, he's been following right on his heels most of the time. ]
So missing arms and Steve being an idiot are universal. I guess that's all the important stuff, right?
[ It's not, of course. It's already easy to see that they're a mix of parallels and contradictions. For everything that lines up, there are glaring differences and he's sure that that Steve is probably the same. For all the things they have in common, he must be some other person who isn't entirely Bucky's Steve.
[ He shrugs, a compact gesture. He's met other versions of himself before, from other times and spaces, but it didn't mean it started making sense to him. ]
None of this is in the handbook. I guess we just find out.
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This one's a couple upgrades in. The Warsaw pact tech was a bit less impressive.
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If mine's been upgraded, no one bothered to tell me about it. Last couple of years, I didn't have access to much and HYDRA had me before that, so...
[ He shrugs. ]
I should probably warn you that there's someone from HYDRA here who tried baiting me. They know what I am. Can't promise they won't come after you.
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[ Maybe it's a name he'll recognize. And if it's not— well, that'll be helpful too. ]
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[ Which is true. He has no idea who sent him those messages, but they put him on an edge he hasn't come down from. If they know how to activate his programming, it's only a matter of time before Bucky's forced to do something he doesn't want to do. ]
Most people think I'm in my 30s. I let them keep thinking that. You tell people you served in the army, they don't probe you for your history too much.
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You should know, I guess, that I blew my cover back home. All my covers.
[ He doesn't think that would come back here, but you never know. ]
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[ His "cover" as a drifter might have been more that he was living like a drifter, though. It didn't exactly have a quality paper trail. ]
Not a lot of people here from my version of Earth from what I can tell. Probably not a whole lot from yours, either, so it might not matter.
How's your head?
[ The blunt question might be necessary. If there's anyone he's not going to bullshit, it's some bizarro version of himself. ]
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But my head's fine. Probably hit it a few too many times, but other than that.
[ He raises an eyebrow. Is this a question he oughta be asking? ]
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Much as he'd like to ignore that eyebrow, though, he really can't get around it. ]
I've got some programming issues.
[ He tips his head to indicate it. ]
I might not be the safest guy to be around, strictly speaking, but I have a feeling you can handle yourself just fine.
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Not that he's had much of that in the past few years. ]
And… [ He turns his head, eyes following a few cracks in the wall. ] I got all of that taken care of, a while back. [ And he'd sort of assumed the same, because obviously the man sitting in front of him remembered some parts of who he was, really. Knew Steve, knew what he stood for. ] I wish I could tell you I could do it again. [ He exhales like he's pulling off a scab. ] Or that it was worth the price.
[ But he'll tell the story, if that's what Bucky wants. ]
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Wouldn't mind a lead on how to get that shit out of my head. If the wrong guy gets control of me, there's not much I can do about it.
[ Not that Bucky isn't stoppable, but they can't know what sort of kill orders he might carry out before he is stopped. ]
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That thing— [ the Tesseract in universe 199999, but Bucky doesn't know that ] it lets you rewrite reality, but it's cursed, it always takes a price. A lotta people had to die just to put it together.
[ He shifts uncomfortably. He doesn't say, "I had to kill a lot of people just to put it together," but maybe he should've. ]
Anyway, Steve [ his Steve ] got his hands on the Cube and used it to try and bring his friend back. He held it, and looked at me, and said, "Remember who you are." So I did. All of it.
[ That was the price. He couldn't look at Steve for months after, and then… Well. Steve didn't get his friend back. ]
I got SHIELD to fish out the old codewords when I figured out they were there.
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[ Not that Bucky's paranoid or anything, but he doesn't trust what's left of SHIELD any more than anyone else who's been that closely tied with HYDRA, whether they'd been aware of it or not.
The rest of the story, though? It's such a Steve fucking Rogers thing to do. He can picture his own Steve doing the exact same thing if given half the chance. ]
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[ But the way he says that makes it clear that he doesn't trust SHIELD blindly or completely. He's not surprised that it went that far off the rails in his counterpart's world. It's been pretty touch and go in his. ]
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[ He wants to ask about how the trigger words were removed, but it won't help if they don't have the same resources here. At this point, all Bucky can do is hope that no one here has ever had access to those words. It's not ideal. ]
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First there were the skrulls, which I guess Fury had a conspiracy theory about for a long time. Then the organization got cleaned up by Norman Osborn, who was a real piece of work. Then Steve tried takin' over…
[ He could keep going. ]
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Let me guess: No one good was volunteering for the job, so he just had to step up himself?
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[ He nods. Bucky wouldn't be surprised if Steve was a universal constant. He just was that way. ]
It didn't suit him, though. [ The job, he means. ]
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[ If there's an incredibly fond smile to go along with that, it's only because he's been watching his Steve jump into danger since they were kids. Hell, he's been following right on his heels most of the time. ]
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[ If his own expression is dry, there's still a clear affection in it. ]
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[ It's not, of course. It's already easy to see that they're a mix of parallels and contradictions. For everything that lines up, there are glaring differences and he's sure that that Steve is probably the same. For all the things they have in common, he must be some other person who isn't entirely Bucky's Steve.
This shit is weird. ]
So what now?
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[ He shrugs, a compact gesture. He's met other versions of himself before, from other times and spaces, but it didn't mean it started making sense to him. ]
None of this is in the handbook. I guess we just find out.
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[ He even manages that one with a straight face. ]
'Cause we can be a secret little club now. What the hell do I call you, anyway? 'Cause I ain't callin' you Bucky. That's too weird, even for me.
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[ It's a fact. Like "Topeka is the capital of Kansas." ]
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[ And his is going to be annoying. ]
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[ He'd had it taken away from him before, his name. He wasn't gonna give it up just because someone's a little weirded out. ]
Besides, I've dealt with nicknames. Lot of things rhyme with Bucky.
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