deerlyBeloved

[lednikovyy]

deerlyBeloved: SergeantBuns Bucky Barnes is older than he looks and he's aware, ladies and gentlemen. Don't let the swagger and the jokes fool you, though. Beneath the smiling exterior is a tired old man who's all but given up on love. He's not even sure if he has anything left to give a partner, so buckle up and all aboard the self-loathing express. He'll pretend he's okay, but he can't go more than a day without thinking of all the people he's killed, including a man who he might have called a friend at one point. But hey, at least he hasn't killed anyone here. Yet. Go ahead and ask him: Does he remember his mother's face anymore or does he only remember the faces of the men he killed for HYDRA?

( James Buchanan Barnes | 100 | M | ?̶̣̳̖̲͈͑̀̊ )

Comments

un: top price

[tagartist]

damn dude

[lednikovyy]

just give me a pun or insult me or something.

please.

[tagartist]

i can't believe there's not even one fucking jesus joke in here
i feel ripped off

[lednikovyy]

me, too.
and nothing about the fact that I lost my dick in the war.
you'd think it would want to brace the takers for that disappointment.

[tagartist]

now that's just unacceptable
they could've even made a pun with your name for it
Buceunuchs Barnes
0/10, whoever wrote this is garbage

[lednikovyy]

0/10 pun
you were handed dicks and you made a sub-par lemonade with them

[tagartist]

look asshole
for someone who is as drunk as i am
that pun was PERFECT

[lednikovyy]

I wish I could get drunk consistently
you'd better appreciate that while you can or one day some mad scientist is going to fuck your biology up and then you won't be able to get drunk anymore

[tagartist]

i mean he'd have to be like frankenstein or something, but i'll totally keep these words of wisdom in mind

un: robin❣️hearts

[oversight]

This is a really depressing read. I can't even make jokes about it, wow. But you are definitely qualified to be a Sergeant of Buns, I'll give you that.

[lednikovyy]

be careful or Bruce is gonna kick you in your buns.

[ Yeah, he noticed you skulking around his favorite neighbor's house, buddy. ]

[oversight]

For what? 😇

[lednikovyy]

for your obvious grandpa fetish, hot stuff

[oversight]

Are you saying that because I swiped right on you, gramps?

[lednikovyy]

no, I'm saying it because I found your weird collection of magazines and you should be ashamed

[oversight]

And if I'm not?

[lednikovyy]

brave man

un: rogers

[pursuitofcappiness]

There's all this weird stuff on my phone.

[lednikovyy]

oh it gave you a good one.

I'd offer to pledge allegiance to your ass, but I think I already did.

[pursuitofcappiness]

After reading yours, I'm taking mine as a win.

It's only slightly more embarrassing than those old USO shows.

Have you had any luck with this thing?

[lednikovyy]

I mostly use it to fuck with my friends

so no

but I can't say I've been trying

[pursuitofcappiness]

So is Sam the only one you talk to on this or

[lednikovyy]

I said friends, not assholes.

[ Probably less convincing now that they live together. ]

[pursuitofcappiness]

Thought we all were.

[lednikovyy]

you're the one who swiped right on me anyway.