[ It's rattled off with a smile as Steve settles over him and his hand forgets what it's doing in favor of getting a grip on Steve's hips to pull him closer as Bucky returns the kiss eagerly. ]
[he has no problem using his own weight to pin bucky to the bed. to give just as good as he gets as he deepens the kiss. as much as he may have a few ideas he'd like to try out with the man, this is still easier. this is something he'll always find comfort in, no matter what's happening around them.
so it's only once the need to breathe breaks them apart that he pulls back. though as always, he doesn't go far. how can he when he has bucky laid out so openly in front of him?]
Still can't work out what I did to deserve you. [and he doubts he ever will]
[ Bucky hums into the kiss. He could feel trapped by the weight on him, but he doesn't. Instead, he feels secure and safe and loved, like his body can't help responding to Steve. ]
'Course you can't, but I know exactly what you did.
[ Because that's part of what makes Steve who he is. He's a man who always does what he thinks is right like he can't fathom any other way to be. Steve always acts like he has no choice, but Bucky knows better. After all these years, Steve's still a man worth following and defending and caring for. ]
Now that you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?
[some of that certainty drains from him at the question, his gaze slipping away from bucky's face as he tries to work that nerve back up again. it'd been awkward enough saying it on the phone, when he was able to hide how he really felt at the time.
but here, face to face with the other man again, it's...difficult. uncomfortable. things that he shouldn't be feeling around bucky, of all people.]
It's more...what I want you to do to me? [because the last thing he wants to do is hurt bucky. and considering that he really does have no experience with this, he can't take that risk.]
I, uh- [no, there really is no easy way to say it. so--] I want us to have sex. I want you do show me how this works.
[ He kisses Steve again quickly before shifting back enough to see Steve's face. It's definitely something he's thought about, but he's waited for Steve because even if Steve had never wanted to do some things, Bucky wouldn't have minded. The idea of fucking Steve is definitely a very nice fantasy, though, because he likes pressing as close as he can to the other man, sharing touches and kisses and the air they're breathing. ]
I'd make sure it was good for you.
[ It's a promise that Bucky makes easily, because he's always pretty into making sure his partners enjoy themselves, but with this he'll be even more focused on it.
Then he stretches up to whisper into Steve's ear. ]
You want me to take my time with you? Work you open until you're begging me to go faster?
[it's a response like this that'd been such a large part of why he wanted to change his mind. why he wanted to try and take this next step with bucky. he still feels awkward about it all, sure. but as much of a joker as bucky may be at times, the man really does know him better than he knows himself. knows when to push and when to hold back. and right now, this is exactly what he needs.
it takes a while for him to pick up on the questions. to open his eyes- he doesn't remember closing them in the first place -so he can look back down at bucky again. he only manages to nod though, at first. an agreement to everything that's being laid out in front of him while he musters up enough breath to finally speak again.]
Want everything with you, Buck.
[and he's more than willing to beg for it if he has to.]
[ Bucky can't help grinning wider. There are times when Steve just makes him feel so warm and whole and Bucky can honestly almost forget all the pain and guilt for just a little while as long as Steve keeps looking at him like he's the most important thing in the world, because there's not a single person more important to Bucky than Steve, either. ]
I want to give it all to you.
[ He lets his hands slide over Steve's hips, back to cup what has got to be the nicest ass in the universe. As he speaks, he strokes Steve's skin, all full of filthy promise and maybe even a pinch of possessiveness, because Steve has been his in one way or another for most of his life. This place has only made that thought stronger. ]
[he can only nod at that. at everything bucky is offering him. he really is the only person that steve could see himself doing any of this with. the only one he trusts enough to know when to push and when to give. he doesn't know his own limits yet. doesn't know whether being with the man like this will be a one time occurrence or not. but if there's anybody in his life that he wants to find all that out with, it's bucky.
sitting back up again- with a little added pressing back into bucky's hands -steve makes use of that space to tug his shirt off, tossing it somewhere behind him once he's done. as nervous as he may be about all this, it isn't enough to make him back off. not now that he's made up his mind about it. he really does want to try everything with bucky.
he grins down at the man, a hint of cockiness in his expression when he finally speaks again]
[ More skin to explore is always a plus and Bucky lets his hands linger all over Steve's back with a sigh. He's in no rush here. They have all the time they want and Bucky can't imagine wanting to rush this right now. ]
How did you picture it when you thought about it? In my lap or me pressing you down into the sheets? I definitely wanna be able to see your face.
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[ It's rattled off with a smile as Steve settles over him and his hand forgets what it's doing in favor of getting a grip on Steve's hips to pull him closer as Bucky returns the kiss eagerly. ]
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so it's only once the need to breathe breaks them apart that he pulls back. though as always, he doesn't go far. how can he when he has bucky laid out so openly in front of him?]
Still can't work out what I did to deserve you. [and he doubts he ever will]
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'Course you can't, but I know exactly what you did.
[ Because that's part of what makes Steve who he is. He's a man who always does what he thinks is right like he can't fathom any other way to be. Steve always acts like he has no choice, but Bucky knows better. After all these years, Steve's still a man worth following and defending and caring for. ]
Now that you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?
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but here, face to face with the other man again, it's...difficult. uncomfortable. things that he shouldn't be feeling around bucky, of all people.]
It's more...what I want you to do to me? [because the last thing he wants to do is hurt bucky. and considering that he really does have no experience with this, he can't take that risk.]
I, uh- [no, there really is no easy way to say it. so--] I want us to have sex. I want you do show me how this works.
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I'd make sure it was good for you.
[ It's a promise that Bucky makes easily, because he's always pretty into making sure his partners enjoy themselves, but with this he'll be even more focused on it.
Then he stretches up to whisper into Steve's ear. ]
You want me to take my time with you? Work you open until you're begging me to go faster?
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it takes a while for him to pick up on the questions. to open his eyes- he doesn't remember closing them in the first place -so he can look back down at bucky again. he only manages to nod though, at first. an agreement to everything that's being laid out in front of him while he musters up enough breath to finally speak again.]
Want everything with you, Buck.
[and he's more than willing to beg for it if he has to.]
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[ Bucky can't help grinning wider. There are times when Steve just makes him feel so warm and whole and Bucky can honestly almost forget all the pain and guilt for just a little while as long as Steve keeps looking at him like he's the most important thing in the world, because there's not a single person more important to Bucky than Steve, either. ]
I want to give it all to you.
[ He lets his hands slide over Steve's hips, back to cup what has got to be the nicest ass in the universe. As he speaks, he strokes Steve's skin, all full of filthy promise and maybe even a pinch of possessiveness, because Steve has been his in one way or another for most of his life. This place has only made that thought stronger. ]
Let me take care of you. Let me take you apart.
a million year later...
sitting back up again- with a little added pressing back into bucky's hands -steve makes use of that space to tug his shirt off, tossing it somewhere behind him once he's done. as nervous as he may be about all this, it isn't enough to make him back off. not now that he's made up his mind about it. he really does want to try everything with bucky.
he grins down at the man, a hint of cockiness in his expression when he finally speaks again]
So, where do you want me?
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[ More skin to explore is always a plus and Bucky lets his hands linger all over Steve's back with a sigh. He's in no rush here. They have all the time they want and Bucky can't imagine wanting to rush this right now. ]
How did you picture it when you thought about it? In my lap or me pressing you down into the sheets? I definitely wanna be able to see your face.