[amongst other things. though while he'd like to keep it a surprise, he's pretty sure he'd end up backing out if he tried to bring it up when they're face to face again.]
[there's silence on his end for a while, though it's clear he's still there. it's just a little more difficult to get the words out than he'd like.]
I'm thinking that there are certain things we haven't done together yet. That...I haven't done at all. And I know you've been letting me take it slow, and I love you for it. But I think I'm ready to try something...more?
[just don't make him say it. especially not when he's about to get on to a crowded lift]
[ And Bucky knows he shouldn't promise anything because it'll just feed into Steve's worry that Bucky isn't really on board, but there's so much he wants to do with Steve, even some things he's never done, either, because Steve is different. He's not just a cute face Bucky met in a bar and what he is, well, Bucky doesn't even have the right words in all the languages he speaks. ]
I know we should probably talk it over first, but--
[there's a sudden rise in ambient sounds as steve enters the lift, and he only mutters a quiet "hold on" down the phone as he waits for them to reach the up. it's only once he's able to move away from the crowd that he finally speaks again.]
I want to take things further. I want you to show me what you like.
Guess it's just as well I've got nowhere else to be today.
[and even if he did, well, he'd be cancelling right about now. having all this out in the open between them means his priorities have shifted completely]
[ Bucky makes sure that when Steve walks in, he'll get a real eyeful of him spread out on the bed as he teases himself hard. He can fully admit that he likes putting on a show. ]
[it's probably a good thing that the stairway is clear, because guess who's sprinting up them.
when he finally does make it to their apartment, he make a beeline for their bedroom, shoes and jacket being shucked off along the way. pushing the door open at long last, he ends up coming to a halt as he takes in the sight in front of him.]
Oh yeah? Looks like you've got it pretty handled already.
[not that it keeps him from stepping closer anyway. from moving to the foot of the bed and climbing on, knees to the mattress as he crawls his way up. but while he wants nothing more than to take over for that hand, steve only presses a thigh between his legs as he leans in for a kiss. he hasn't said hello yet, after all.]
[ It's rattled off with a smile as Steve settles over him and his hand forgets what it's doing in favor of getting a grip on Steve's hips to pull him closer as Bucky returns the kiss eagerly. ]
[he has no problem using his own weight to pin bucky to the bed. to give just as good as he gets as he deepens the kiss. as much as he may have a few ideas he'd like to try out with the man, this is still easier. this is something he'll always find comfort in, no matter what's happening around them.
so it's only once the need to breathe breaks them apart that he pulls back. though as always, he doesn't go far. how can he when he has bucky laid out so openly in front of him?]
Still can't work out what I did to deserve you. [and he doubts he ever will]
[ Bucky hums into the kiss. He could feel trapped by the weight on him, but he doesn't. Instead, he feels secure and safe and loved, like his body can't help responding to Steve. ]
'Course you can't, but I know exactly what you did.
[ Because that's part of what makes Steve who he is. He's a man who always does what he thinks is right like he can't fathom any other way to be. Steve always acts like he has no choice, but Bucky knows better. After all these years, Steve's still a man worth following and defending and caring for. ]
Now that you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?
[some of that certainty drains from him at the question, his gaze slipping away from bucky's face as he tries to work that nerve back up again. it'd been awkward enough saying it on the phone, when he was able to hide how he really felt at the time.
but here, face to face with the other man again, it's...difficult. uncomfortable. things that he shouldn't be feeling around bucky, of all people.]
It's more...what I want you to do to me? [because the last thing he wants to do is hurt bucky. and considering that he really does have no experience with this, he can't take that risk.]
I, uh- [no, there really is no easy way to say it. so--] I want us to have sex. I want you do show me how this works.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Maybe you should give me a good reason to rush.
[never mind that his request is enough to have steve pick up his pace a little anyway]
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[ There's the sound of fabric rustling as he undresses and stretches out on the bed. He's got no problem playing to the microphone for Steve. ]
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[the fact bucky's so easy on the eyes doesn't go unnoticed though]
...I want you to start though. Might even reward you if you're able to last till I get there.
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[ Though Bucky knows he'll be happy with any sort of reward from Steve. He'd even be happy to have Steve watch him while he puts on a show. ]
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[amongst other things. though while he'd like to keep it a surprise, he's pretty sure he'd end up backing out if he tried to bring it up when they're face to face again.]
There's...something I want to try.
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[ there's a low chuckle. ]
Well I can't have any less clothing than what I've already got on now.
[ His breath hitches. ]
What are you thinking?
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I'm thinking that there are certain things we haven't done together yet. That...I haven't done at all. And I know you've been letting me take it slow, and I love you for it. But I think I'm ready to try something...more?
[just don't make him say it. especially not when he's about to get on to a crowded lift]
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[ And Bucky knows he shouldn't promise anything because it'll just feed into Steve's worry that Bucky isn't really on board, but there's so much he wants to do with Steve, even some things he's never done, either, because Steve is different. He's not just a cute face Bucky met in a bar and what he is, well, Bucky doesn't even have the right words in all the languages he speaks. ]
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[there's a sudden rise in ambient sounds as steve enters the lift, and he only mutters a quiet "hold on" down the phone as he waits for them to reach the up. it's only once he's able to move away from the crowd that he finally speaks again.]
I want to take things further. I want you to show me what you like.
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[ There's a mischievous, wicked edge to his voice. As a rule, he doesn't really hold back when he's being egged on. ]
Plenty of new things I wouldn't mind trying, too.
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[and even if he did, well, he'd be cancelling right about now. having all this out in the open between them means his priorities have shifted completely]
I'm all yours.
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[ There's humor in his voice, teasing a threat he knows he has no intention of carrying out. ]
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[because yes, he's been rushing the whole way there]
Maybe you should get started. Give me a reason to hurry.
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What do you think I'm doing?
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[never mind that he asked for it in the first place.]
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[ he laughs, but there's a breathiness to it. ]
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[see. that creak would be the sounds of him finally entering their building.]
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[ Bucky makes sure that when Steve walks in, he'll get a real eyeful of him spread out on the bed as he teases himself hard. He can fully admit that he likes putting on a show. ]
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when he finally does make it to their apartment, he make a beeline for their bedroom, shoes and jacket being shucked off along the way. pushing the door open at long last, he ends up coming to a halt as he takes in the sight in front of him.]
Jesus, Buck.
[he's never going to get tired of this]
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Hi. Got a problem I could use your help with.
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[not that it keeps him from stepping closer anyway. from moving to the foot of the bed and climbing on, knees to the mattress as he crawls his way up. but while he wants nothing more than to take over for that hand, steve only presses a thigh between his legs as he leans in for a kiss. he hasn't said hello yet, after all.]
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[ It's rattled off with a smile as Steve settles over him and his hand forgets what it's doing in favor of getting a grip on Steve's hips to pull him closer as Bucky returns the kiss eagerly. ]
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so it's only once the need to breathe breaks them apart that he pulls back. though as always, he doesn't go far. how can he when he has bucky laid out so openly in front of him?]
Still can't work out what I did to deserve you. [and he doubts he ever will]
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'Course you can't, but I know exactly what you did.
[ Because that's part of what makes Steve who he is. He's a man who always does what he thinks is right like he can't fathom any other way to be. Steve always acts like he has no choice, but Bucky knows better. After all these years, Steve's still a man worth following and defending and caring for. ]
Now that you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?
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but here, face to face with the other man again, it's...difficult. uncomfortable. things that he shouldn't be feeling around bucky, of all people.]
It's more...what I want you to do to me? [because the last thing he wants to do is hurt bucky. and considering that he really does have no experience with this, he can't take that risk.]
I, uh- [no, there really is no easy way to say it. so--] I want us to have sex. I want you do show me how this works.
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a million year later...
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